Understanding Narcissism
Narcissism is a personality disorder, incurable, that makes people live in a world of fantasy where they are the most clever, smart, attractive people ever
It is COMPLETELY DELUSIONAL but.... they firmly believe it..:-)
Their friends and partners are just puppets in the grand show of the narcissist where the end is always a tragedy and the narcissist has the role of the biggest "victim"
Fortunately, unlike the Narcissist, the real "victims" can heal
A SEVERE PERSONALITY DISORDER WITH NO CURE
What is it?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) follows a predictable pattern in relationships. The stages are as follows:
1. Love Bombing
At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist showers you with affection, attention, and praise. You’re placed on a pedestal, and it feels like you’ve met the perfect partner. They make you believe you’re extraordinary, claiming they’ve never met anyone like you. This phase is intoxicating and creates a deep emotional attachment.
2. Devaluation
Once the relationship is established, the narcissist’s perception of you begins to shift. Gradually, they see you as “all bad.” Nothing you do is ever good enough, and they criticize you constantly. They avoid admitting fault, positioning themselves as either the victim or the hero in every situation. You, however, are cast as the villain. This stage leaves you confused and questioning your worth.
3. Discard
Eventually, the narcissist discards you without warning, treating you as though you never mattered. They may vanish from your life or quickly move on to a new relationship. Alternatively, they may attempt to “hoover” you back into the cycle, re-engaging with you temporarily before repeating the pattern. The cycle of love bombing, devaluation, and discard continues endlessly until you break it.
Is There a Solution for Narcissism?
In short, NO. Narcissism is deeply rooted in a personality disorder that prevents true self-awareness or accountability.
People with NPD rarely seek therapy, and even if they do, progress is limited. Therapy can sometimes help improve specific behaviors, but it requires years of consistent intervention. The core issues—lack of empathy, manipulation, and a need for control—remain largely unchanged.
For those in a relationship with a narcissist, the only viable solution is to end the relationship and enforce a strict no-contact rule. This prevents the narcissist from re-entering your life and pulling you back into the cycle of abuse.
They will NEVER allow you to feel fully secure - because if you do, you might realize you deserve better, so you will be living in the land of endless DRAMA. Just to keep you hooked and complaint with the abuse.
Could You Have Done Anything to Change the Cycle?
ABSOLUTELY NO. NOTHING!!
The behavior of a narcissist is compulsive and driven by their own internal struggles. Nothing you did or could have done would have altered the pattern of the relationship or prevented the discard.
Narcissists live in a self-created fantasy where you are merely a character. They do not see you as a whole, autonomous person, but rather as a tool to serve their needs and validate their sense of self. The harsh truth is that they never truly loved you and never will.
